Miss Piggy
virgin cherry bomb
A Penny For Your Thoughts
Do you ever do anything on a whim? I do. All the time. Sometimes it works out really well and others....
I really enjoyed the time I spent working as adult liaison between the Ministry of Education and a youth group while we were in the Maritimes. I was never totally sure what those teens would throw at me next, and, they didn't always know what I would do either. We had a lot of fun, partly because they were a really nice bunch of kids and I had a lot of `kid' in me. It was that `kid' that brought on one of my most famous, or should I say infamous, whims.
A costume dance had been planned to encourage new membership for one of the group's posts. The theme was to come as the person you most admired. I had not intended to `dress up' but at the last moment I changed my mind. I had no idea what to wear since I do not keep costumes around the house, at least not in my size, and I did not have time to go rent one. Then, I remembered someone that would be very easy for me to impersonate. I had the proper figure--Rubeneseque, the proper dress, a straight purple evening gown, long, white evening gloves and a string of pearls. All I really needed was a blonde wig. Since I had also been helping the drama teacher at the local high school I approached him with my idea and asked if he could loan me a platinum blonde wig. After he stopped laughing he found an old mannequin's wig that was too dishevelled to use any more. Only one step left. I needed a `nose job'. Taking an empty toilet paper roll, I cut it in half and then covered the piece with pink lining material. Black Magic Marker provided the nostrils. Now, how to attach it? Using Crazy Glue did not appeal so I used fishing line which I threaded through the sides, to tie at the back of my head, under the platinum locks. My costume was complete, a little sleazy due to the wig, but complete.
The night of the dance I approached the school gym by a back door, checked my gown (it was a little snug), adjusted my toilet roll nose and bravely marched through just as my idol, Miss Piggy, would do. Twirling my pearls, patting my curls, I strutted around the outer edges of the darkened dance floor. I guess you could say I made quite an entrance. People stopped in their tracks whether walking or dancing, conversation ceased except for the question, "Who in the heck is that?" My children knew but they were sworn to secrecy or face the consequences.
I was sure some of the older girls were about my height and I hoped there was no way to be certain if the dress was `artificially' padded. I knew that if I could avoid talking I would fool them for a little while. (Anyone that has known me at all is aware that the not talking was the hardest part). There was only one other thing that could give me away. I have a very distinctive laugh. Unfortunately for me one of the older boys, guessing correctly, approached me from behind and tickled me. Of course, once the secret was out everyone said they knew all the time it was me because in their minds I was the only one crazy enough to pick that character. It gave me great pleasure to note that one young man, whom I knew to be very unhappy at the time, was laughing uproariously.
Since Miss Piggy was such a great success with the younger half of the group I decided to bring her out of the closet a couple of months later at the seniors' Provincial Conference. This would involve teens that would not have been at the dance so I knew she would be a complete surprise. I enlisted the aid of a six-foot five, skinny blond 18 year-old. Gary was to be my Kermit for a duet of `Tea for Two' during the Gong Show to be staged on the Saturday night. He was a great sport with a good sense of humour so I knew he would not object to creating a few laughs. Did I say a few? Can you imagine how we must have looked? I was only 5'4", and as I pointed out, pleasantly plump. Gary was dressed entirely in green, only adding to his height, with a green balaclava and homemade green, felt, webbed feet worn over his shoes.
No one was to be told anything about our act so only the name of the song and the fact that it was a duet was to appear on the programme. Contestants were to appear backstage just before they were to go on. We were standing in the wings when we were first spotted by the “gongers” on stage. They had a very difficult time controlling their mirth and due to stage fright so did I. Then I noticed one of the girls frantically waving at me to get back. I didn't know what she was trying to tell me. Her arms were waving wildly from the stage and she was trying to convey some message just as my partner, Gary, was about to go on stage. Then I heard this loud guffaw to my right, in the corridor leading to backstage. I was horrified! My husband, whom I had not seen for the three months he was on a military course in Kingston had come home three days early. Knowing I was at the conference he had come to surprise me. Since he was by now sitting on the floor in gales of laughter I was not the only one surprised.
Rita knew that Jim had been away and she had been trying to warn me of his arrival. I don't know. I think it turned out better this way. We certainly livened up the conference. Our surprises were the talk of the weekend. Jim still likes to tell how he came home to Miss Piggy.
Miss Piggy would return again. Twice more in fact, one time being at an International Conference in Boston but...that's a story for another day.
A Penny For Your Thoughts
Do you ever do anything on a whim? I do. All the time. Sometimes it works out really well and others....
I really enjoyed the time I spent working as adult liaison between the Ministry of Education and a youth group while we were in the Maritimes. I was never totally sure what those teens would throw at me next, and, they didn't always know what I would do either. We had a lot of fun, partly because they were a really nice bunch of kids and I had a lot of `kid' in me. It was that `kid' that brought on one of my most famous, or should I say infamous, whims.
A costume dance had been planned to encourage new membership for one of the group's posts. The theme was to come as the person you most admired. I had not intended to `dress up' but at the last moment I changed my mind. I had no idea what to wear since I do not keep costumes around the house, at least not in my size, and I did not have time to go rent one. Then, I remembered someone that would be very easy for me to impersonate. I had the proper figure--Rubeneseque, the proper dress, a straight purple evening gown, long, white evening gloves and a string of pearls. All I really needed was a blonde wig. Since I had also been helping the drama teacher at the local high school I approached him with my idea and asked if he could loan me a platinum blonde wig. After he stopped laughing he found an old mannequin's wig that was too dishevelled to use any more. Only one step left. I needed a `nose job'. Taking an empty toilet paper roll, I cut it in half and then covered the piece with pink lining material. Black Magic Marker provided the nostrils. Now, how to attach it? Using Crazy Glue did not appeal so I used fishing line which I threaded through the sides, to tie at the back of my head, under the platinum locks. My costume was complete, a little sleazy due to the wig, but complete.
The night of the dance I approached the school gym by a back door, checked my gown (it was a little snug), adjusted my toilet roll nose and bravely marched through just as my idol, Miss Piggy, would do. Twirling my pearls, patting my curls, I strutted around the outer edges of the darkened dance floor. I guess you could say I made quite an entrance. People stopped in their tracks whether walking or dancing, conversation ceased except for the question, "Who in the heck is that?" My children knew but they were sworn to secrecy or face the consequences.
I was sure some of the older girls were about my height and I hoped there was no way to be certain if the dress was `artificially' padded. I knew that if I could avoid talking I would fool them for a little while. (Anyone that has known me at all is aware that the not talking was the hardest part). There was only one other thing that could give me away. I have a very distinctive laugh. Unfortunately for me one of the older boys, guessing correctly, approached me from behind and tickled me. Of course, once the secret was out everyone said they knew all the time it was me because in their minds I was the only one crazy enough to pick that character. It gave me great pleasure to note that one young man, whom I knew to be very unhappy at the time, was laughing uproariously.
Since Miss Piggy was such a great success with the younger half of the group I decided to bring her out of the closet a couple of months later at the seniors' Provincial Conference. This would involve teens that would not have been at the dance so I knew she would be a complete surprise. I enlisted the aid of a six-foot five, skinny blond 18 year-old. Gary was to be my Kermit for a duet of `Tea for Two' during the Gong Show to be staged on the Saturday night. He was a great sport with a good sense of humour so I knew he would not object to creating a few laughs. Did I say a few? Can you imagine how we must have looked? I was only 5'4", and as I pointed out, pleasantly plump. Gary was dressed entirely in green, only adding to his height, with a green balaclava and homemade green, felt, webbed feet worn over his shoes.
No one was to be told anything about our act so only the name of the song and the fact that it was a duet was to appear on the programme. Contestants were to appear backstage just before they were to go on. We were standing in the wings when we were first spotted by the “gongers” on stage. They had a very difficult time controlling their mirth and due to stage fright so did I. Then I noticed one of the girls frantically waving at me to get back. I didn't know what she was trying to tell me. Her arms were waving wildly from the stage and she was trying to convey some message just as my partner, Gary, was about to go on stage. Then I heard this loud guffaw to my right, in the corridor leading to backstage. I was horrified! My husband, whom I had not seen for the three months he was on a military course in Kingston had come home three days early. Knowing I was at the conference he had come to surprise me. Since he was by now sitting on the floor in gales of laughter I was not the only one surprised.
Rita knew that Jim had been away and she had been trying to warn me of his arrival. I don't know. I think it turned out better this way. We certainly livened up the conference. Our surprises were the talk of the weekend. Jim still likes to tell how he came home to Miss Piggy.
Miss Piggy would return again. Twice more in fact, one time being at an International Conference in Boston but...that's a story for another day.
posted by Scope Dope Cherrybomb at 9:03 AM
4 Comments:
Love your stories!
Oh, this is too cute! I've always loved Miss Piggy. When my kids were small one of them had a face mask of Mis Piggy complete with the long blond locks and that thing was passed back and forth amongst friends for many Halloween nights. It ended up in Australia for one of my nieces to use.
You write well and you really, really, need to get that manuscript out and start reworking it.
Best,
rg
Penny, this is just great! Do you know that my mom was also a huge Miss Piggy fan? She loved the pig!! One of her favorite songs was off of the Muppets/John Denver Christmas album. I still laugh every time I hear, "MIss Piggy, we're finished." Followed by the very sarcastic,'Oh, I knew that!"
This is wonderful. You write so well. I'm allowing myself one or two of your stories every day to brighten my evenings.
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